bellevett

the past and the present.

 

about a month ago, cody and were out alone, enjoying some sushi that was i think made from perfection, and then some beers made from awesomeness.

something about being out alone without crosby made us think of a few of our favorite memories, prechild.

this visit from the past was surely because we were at a place that we most likely wouldnt bring crosby, and this place was a place where would go in the years pre marriage, and prebaby, and prehomeownership, and pre real jobs.  read: during college.

we remembered all of the decisions, mistakes, and awesome times.  we thought about how weird it was to not know responsibility at all, and how free you are from any actual obligation, aside from the table waiting job and the classes.  we laughed and thought about those times, and how fast they went by.  they were like a brief flash. 

not one of the mistakes we thought about or the money we spent on something that we would never do now brought up any feelings of regret.  because that time was then in that moment. and we lived it. and we saw it, and breathed it in completely.  and then we moved on.

our conversation moved on to the present, and crosby, and our funny memories we have made in the past few months.  and then of course onto random topics of what we have recently heard on the radio or read on the internet. and then our conversation trailed off into future plans and goals and then the beers were done, and we went home to our warm house to be in our present.  with the snuggly baby.

i know that in a few short years, we will be looking back to this moment with our like minded friends, and our kids and babies will be teenagers and adults.  and we will look back at these times and know that we lived them fully..... breathing in the babies, laughing at the millions of pounds of poop we cleaned off cloth diapers, and the glasses of wine or beer we would sip preciously while watching portlandia after an especially hard and exausting day of wood splitting, diaper washing, fussy teething whining, and constant, necessary and often exhausting baby wearing.

as one of my friends on facebook recently quoted:

"time keeps on slipping slipping slipping, into the future." 

 

memory ocd.

 

 

it would in fact be true that i have been m.i.a. from this space for the last couple of weeks- much to my disappointment.  the past few weeks have zoomed by.  which has caused me a wicked case of trying to compile memories from the last few weeks in a matter of minutes.  because, you see, i have an obsessive need to keep track of all of my memories. which i do in this very book:

daily i try to sit down and catalog at least one memory from the day.  one little moment that i hope i can remember next year when i look back.  i have always good intentioned with my journal- but when the choice is presented, and the contender to journaling is sleep, sleep almost always prevails.

so, yes, this past weekend, in an effort to get semi organized before crosby turns one, IN TWO WEEKS, i went through a year of pictures to make a book of the past years highlights.  this year, i believe i am going to do it monthly, because this book is certainly going to be at least 100 pages.  does shutterfly even make a 100 page photo book?  anyways, i was going through all of the 400+ pictures and never found my face without a smile.  cody, crosby, and i have made some major memories this year.  and some of those memories came without photo proof.  which is why i keep the red daily journal.  so i can jot down brief moments that i just simply CANT FORGET.

because when we lay down with crosby, and he is dozing off to sleep, and his awesomely perfected sleepy playlist (patting myself on the back) is playing, i work through a series of memory exercises, in which i try to remember all of my favorite memories from the last few months. 

because it has almost been a year.

and this time is so fleeting.

it has almost been ONE YEAR people.

some knits. and gifts.

 

a few simple gifts for christmas.

the pear and hat were knitted by me.

pear was knitted from itty bitty toys book, and i added some bells inside so that it would be appealing to such a rattle lover.  the hat was made from this aviatrix pattern. 

a wooden knob puzzle and a book from us.

abc blocks from a family friend.

a few small wooden trains from a cousin.

a wooden xylophone and a tambourine for this music maker lover boy was perhaps his favorite gift.

another favorite? this walker wagon from nova naturals. which he is crawling with.  this boy is such a fast crawler, why would he have any reason to actually walk? 

we intend on keeping holidays small, always, just a few simple gifts and lots of merry making.  this season was perfectly that.

 

tour of the grounds.

daily tour of the grounds begin like this:

wanna join us?

first stop, watering pail.

beets:

kale, still growing strong:

looking up:

looking down:

and we're off:

 

 

Friday was a beautiful sunny day.

by the time crosby and i got home, it was a bit overcast. 

that didn't stop us from our daily tour of the grounds.

crosby has gone from laying on a blanket outside.....

to sitting up attempting to reach the nearest sticks and rocks......

to scooting to get a stick........

to crawling to find the biggest stick and most dirt......

to speed crawling around our house for his daily tour of the grounds.

his daily adventures happen in the cold and the sun and the warm. 

in the beginning, i thought i would be taking crosby for a local hike at least daily.

i have learned that it doesnt matter if it is the top of the mountain or the patches of grass and garden around our house, adventure is adventure.  when your 11 months old, if you're outside, the awesome factor is pretty high.

*************

i was actually kind of getting depressed that we don't seem to be getting a decent winter. 

i am the type of person who enjoys a lazy day on the couch with some knitting and a fire in the woodstove.

but, big news.  i have moved on.

i am tired of waiting, so  i am accepting our non- winter winter, and i am now moving forward.

bring on spring!

and my fresh vegetables.

**************

i have been watching my frozen and canned veggie stash dwindle away slowly. 

i used the last of our frozen blueberries the other day. 

i am ready to start again, and every year, my garden and preserving plans get bigger and bigger.

i am hoping this is leading me up to finding a super awesome and cheap piece of land in the near future.

one can hope. and dream.

pretty sure my sourdough starter would for real be better on some land.  on a farm.  yes indeed.

 

ohhhhh, forgot to mention, i have moved my 365 project pics over here:

http://bellevett.typepad.com/threehundredsixtyfive/

add it to your reader and visit. 

out of doors: day 5 of project 365.

 

 

small note:

 

hillary had a post today that rings oh so true to me right now, as well as kyrie and this post from buttons magee.

 

jan 4

last night:

 

one finished turkish bed sock. 

 

sometimes things just are

and they are hard.

and there really isn't a win win situation-

or at least there isnt an instant win win situation.

and you just have to do. and continue doing.

until things just aren't anymore.

and then they are just what they are, and you look back and it all didn't really seem so hard after all.

and everyone is happy.

and it all just becomes a small and good memory.

************

i am going to enjoy the journey for a bit, even though it doesn't feel quite right.

lets see what happens. 

************

i am a lucky girl:

to have good friends to drink the above beverage with after such days......

and a good, patient, and angelic husband who never comments on the dirty kitchen or tired baby or giant bag of dirty cloth diapers i leave him with when we all know that the above situation takes at least two (on a good day) to tackle......

and a nice sock.

and an almost second sock.

and also, sometimes, it feels good to just sit, and listen.

**********************

in retrospect, not a bad day after all.

 

the spice of life.

a light snow fell last night.

i went to sleep hoping i was going to wake to a winter wonderland, but alas, just an inch.

i had big plans for us take a cold and snowy hike this morning, but by the time we ate breakfast and were ready to get out the door (that takes a while you know) most of the snow had melted. 

after some brief errands, i settled back in with my new favorite beverage: a frothy hot milk with vanilla bean paste mixed in.  surely the most heavenly drink on the planet.... and got a wild hair to start some a sourdough starter. 

i took some inspiration and knowledge from the river cottage bread book and set to beginning my journey of master sourdough bread making and i am not going to lie, i did envision my rye sourdough starter becoming so flavorful and delicious that i would keep that same starter for 20+ years, and people would request a small dip of my special starter for christmas and birthday presents. 

meanwhile, while i was knee deep in a very fruitful daydream, crosby was knee deep in the spice cabinet.  the spice cabinet and the dishwasher are his current favorite hangouts, and i pretty much encourage any and all shenanigans that occur in the kitchen. this was an especially shenanigan-full day as crosby was concocting his own little mixture of deliciousness.

baking soda is never to be forgotten amongst the list of delicious items to eat and flavor dishes with. 

toothpicks top the list as best rattle.

if the dishwasher gets opened when you have just about gotten the curry powder opened and you can get a fork to help with the rest of the way, you have really hit the jackpot.

after a bit more exploring and tasting, we headed out of doors for a little fresh (cold) air.

at the end of the day, my spice cabinet is newly organized and clean.

our woodstove is maxing out.

my camera is full of images of life: snow. stick eating. spice cabinet ridiculousness. my new sourdough starter. cats hogging the heat.

 

ps. before you tell me i am crazy, neglectful, insane, unfit to be a mother: as a former montessori teacher, i seem to always allow Crosby to explore his environment (which i have semi childproofed) and i pretty much consider any destruction or craziness a practical life experience.  and i like it that way. 

oh, and i'll let you know how the starter goes. and my future sourdough starter business.

new normal.

a small pocket of silence.

just some knitting. 

my new journal/planner.

a pen. 

fresh coffee.

sleeping babes all around.

today was the first day of a new normal.

a 3 day a week commitment to my baby niece and nephew and of course Crosby.

other new normals:

looking at life through a new lens.  literally and figuratively.

knitting socks.  something i vowed i would never start.

happy monday friends!

 

365

*************************************2011****************************************

the last of 2011 looked like this:

**************************************2012****************************************

 

after starting the first loaf of bread and placing it in the oven to rise....

after pouring the first cup of french press coffee.....

as decorations came down.

as the tree came down, ornaments off.

a gallon of water was spilled on the floor, courtesy of the faulty tree stand.

a major sudden and unpredicted rain storm came through and rained on all of our uncovered seasoned fire wood.

since i had checked my negativity at the door of 2011, i brought out the new perspective. 

i forgot about the messy house that i vowed would be cleaned by the first stroke of midnight.

i cleaned up the million pine needles.

we wiped up the water.

we covered up the wood pile.

i packed away all of the ornaments and remnants of the holiday season.

i thought of just 30 days earlier when we had gotten out every last bit of holiday garb, and we watched national lampoons christmas vacation, drank some homebrews and i opened the boxes of ornaments and lights that had been packed away last year 2010- on a wet cold day in the last month of my pregnancy.

today, i wondered about what all would change between now and next thanksgiving when i get out all of the christmas stuff again, for another holiday season.  what will crosby's voice sound like then?  how much life will we really live between now and then, and most importantly how did we make the most of 2012? 

i always think that when you wake up January 1, there will be visible magic that will inspire and delight you into the new year. but i guess the truth is, you kinda just have to make your own magic. 

and then sometimes, things just fall into place, courtesy of the universe.

so, right now, it is super sunny.  and windy. and the light is literally spilling through the windows.

i'm off with my camera to document the first day of 2012.

ps. today is day 1 of my 365 project. am i crazy for attempting this? i think so not.