bellevett

right now.

 :right now: i am realizing that i stand in this very spot at least 10 times a day for at least 5 minutes each time... plus an additional 5 minutes added to the top for the times that he pees during mid change. that adds up to 55 minutes a day which is almost a full hour.

:right now: i am also realizing that it just took me entirely too long to figure out 10x5. 

:right now: i am also calculating up the amount of time that i will have waiting in a dr's offices this week.  that time= enough time to nearly finish my march sweater... (this could also be wishful thinking...)

:right now: i am feeling pretty good about my reunion with the slow cooker.  actual, its more like a first meeting... i have always had a great hatred for the thing for the amount of real estate it takes up in the kitchen cabinet.  also, it seems like it takes up more time to use considering you have to dirty 3 pans to cook all of the ingredients to then just put it in the slow cooker.  and let it "cook" all day. 

we only ever used this cooker before when we lived in a tiny junky little apartment in boone, nc.  in said tiny junky apt. had a tiny junky kitchen, which, just so you know, had no outlets in the kitchen. which meant plugging the slow cooker up in the living room.. i think. which i didnt do because cody was a stay at home man at the time and did the majority of the cooking. i remember fajitas in the slow cooker, but  i actually cant remember how we plugged anything in while in that kitchen.  oh, and to answer the question i know you are thinking... we used a perculator for coffee.

 

:right now: i am glad to see the insane amount of rain... it gives me an excellent reason to stay inside and finish my sweater in between each of the 5 minute diaper changes, 20-3o minute feedings, and the 5 minute burping, and the 5 minute second diaper change and the 20 minutes of playing and laughing at the most amazing fruit of my loins. according to my calculations, that leaves me about 5 minutes of knitting.  

 

the weather report

last week, i enjoyed several days of warm sunshine, several picnics, several hours of knitting outside, and nice sunburned back to prove it.

this past weekend, it rained for an entire 72 hours.  i welcomed the rain, and my freshly planted spinach and carrot seeds did too! 

i had an entire weekend on the couch, with coffee, chocolate peanut butter bars (more on those later....), movies, knitting, and wine with one of my best friends.  when i say it was 72 hours on the couch, i am not really exaggerating that much.  we did make it out of the house for a brief 2 hours to get some lunch, and soon realized the weather was far too undesirable to interact with on such a close basis... 

a girls weekend of relaxing, chatting, and wedding planning was just what i needed before my big week.  and by big week i mean the last week of march.

 

and by last week of march, i mean just a few short days before my deadline for my march sweater is up.  and by march sweater i am referring to the sweater that was originally the february sweater but had to be ripped out for the sake of increasing chest size and other postpardum luxuries.  so here i am, with my sage remedy sweater, (pictured above), workin like a mad dog to make sure i achieve my goal!  and by achieve my goal, i mean have a brand spankin new sweater before april. 

i am almost at the finish line.

it better fit this time.

little forest quilt

 

 

little forest tree quilt from purl bee.  converted into a crib sized quilt.

little cros loves his quilt.. and i do too.  although it was my first quilt and there are a few (many) mistakes. 

i was going to apologize for the blurry photo, but forget that, at least you cant see as many of my blunders!

 

I used a tan linen for the binding and backing. 

i learned a lot while making this quilt:

1: dont make a quilt when you are 8 months pregnant and the only space you have to lay out the quilt squares is the floor.  your knees will never be the same.

2. when they say 2 1/4 x 4/1/8, they actually mean that.  it wont go together quite the same with your own measurements.

3: one piece of quilt batting will be sufficient.. you have a sweatbox of a son, and he probably will never be cold enough to need a double layer of wool quilt batting.

 

i am now dreaming of a new quilt idea that involves all white squares.  sounds mod. dont you agree?

happy friday.

right now.

i have been soaking up the early spring sunshine with my knitting (yes, it finally got picked back up...) and the Cros.

baby cros in the ergo.

 

broccoli and carrot bed. yeehaw!!!

 

 

tomato plants.... awaiting their destiny.  a few more months little buddies.

 

 

inspired by soulemama, here is my first edition of "right now".

 

:watching: the stained diapers come completely and miraculously clean when placed in the sun.  woah! the sun can naturally bleach anything, and i mean anything.  **a few color sunbleached items later....**

:hearing: cries and grunts and coos.  i am working my way past the point where i entertain the idea that each and every grunt and coo could be the sound of something terrible happening and i simply must sit and stare at him to make sure that NOTHING HAPPENS TO HIM when i am not looking.

:learning: how to enjoy life in a completely different way.  slower hikes, late picnics at the gardens, new dinner recipes, a long shower, giant smiles, a glass of red wine (finally), and reading a magazine with a babe strapped to me.

:remembering: i suddenly am more prepared to go out into the world... i remember my water bottle, extra diapers, a sandwich, a tiny note book to write down things that i dont want to remember.... because for some reason, i can remember items to be prepared, but i cant remember 2 crucial things i need to look up on the internet when i get home... still cant remember.

:trying: to get to a point where i can post on this blog every day!  for reals, the days go by so fast and then i am like whaaaa?  i was going to write about __________.  i really love this little space, and soon friends soon, i will get there....

:feeling: dirt! dirt on my hands!  36 broccoli plants, 10 rows of carrots, breakfast radishes, beets, and spinach!  music to my homegrown veggie lovin ears.

:hoping: my city just passed an ordinance to allow up to 6 hens in the city limits for egg production.  all i have to say is:  heyyyy laaadiiieesss!  i cant wait to get my hands on some baby ladies. and then i can really have some lady birds to love on! 

:becoming:  a baby wearing expert!  i have always known that i would wear my babies in a sling or wrap or carrier.  because i just am like that. i fit the mold of a baby wearer.  what i didnt know is that i would HAVE to wear baby Cros to survive.  i have done some amazing things with cros strapped up in the moby.   somedays i wonder around a trail or go downtown and walk around with baby crosby trying to figure out what the heck i am doing, apologizing to him with these words of encouragement: "hey little buddy, i am sorry i have no clue how to do this mothering thing, but i am really working on it, and we are in this together, first born.  but i do love you more than the expanse of the ocean, i hope that makes up for my lack of experience.....  ok, thanks."  follow that up with about 2 million head kisses and you have just seen my day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 month

one month ago today, little crosby j made his entrance.

on saturday the 12th, i woke up with an occasional contraction around 7:00 in the morning.  since i was a week past my due date, and had been having contractions for well over a month, i was in no hurry to believe it was actual baby producing labor.  cody and i decided to go to earth fare to get a few items and to the hardware store to get the items we needed to finish our newest raised bed in the garden, because that is what you do when you have been in contraction land for a two weeks.

after a few hours of the contractions continuing throughout the various stores, we made our way home to start our newest garden bed.  As we had already spent days thinking i was in labor, i wasnt about to waste a beautiful sunny day inside laying in bed, timing contractions.   As we were finishing up outside, i knew it was becoming the real deal when talking became impossible and the only thing i could do was lay on my side and close my eyes.  i had prepared for labor, a natural calm labor for 9 months, but i have to say, the intensity of the contractions suprised me.  the pain would literally wash over me and then be gone, and i could move about in perfect normalness, cleaning out the fridge, putting away laundry, packing my bag for the birthing center, and even eating a giant sized lunch.

by 6pm, the contractions had become incredibly intense and were 3-4 minutes apart.  we decided then to call the midwife and make our way to the birth center.  i was excited at this point, as i knew we would go to the birthing center, i would be able to get into the birthing tub, have a baby by midnight, and spend the rest of the weekend in our own bed. 

on the way to the birthing center, cody tried to calmly tell me that the room that had the birthing tub in it was being used, and would not be available, but that i could use the regular tub and everything was going to be perfect. when we arrived around 8pm i was 5 cm.  i was ready to rock and roll.  i walked and layed on the exercise ball and built up the most amount of determination that i could muster.  hours passed by quickly.  the contractions were right on top of each other, and i wasnt having a break in the pain. i asked the midwives to check me, i knew that i was getting close, but felt no urge to push.  they checked and i was a big 5cm still.  no change in 8 hours.  more laboring.  i became even more determined.  i started squating and walking, stopping only to bury my head in cody and moan in agony every minute or so.  hours later, i asked them to check me again........  5cm. 

no change, this cant be right.

i asked them to find another dang midwife to check me.  must be user error.

the head midwife came in and checked me.... 5cm.

since we had been in labor for close to 30 hours at this point, I knew that cody needed a little rest, and i needed to pull it together and get this baby out with a little pep talk and maybe a little bribery.  I got into the shower and gave myself and in utero crosby the longest and best pep talk i could muster.  stand strong, open like a flower, and come out in peace little man..........  after being in the shower for an hour (i am still in awe of not only how much hot water i used in 40 hours, but also how much hot water the birthing center had.  they must have a life size hot water heater.) the midwives came to check the heart rate etc. 

i knew they were growing concerned about my not progressing, especially considering that tiny baby crosby, while in utero, had developed a heart arythmia. the heart arythmia had dissapeared during the last few weeks of pregnancy, but we were warned it could come back at anytime, so we were watched extra carefully. 

however, i was prepared to stand my ground with a heck no i wont go attitude directed toward the hospital.  when they started discussing the options with us: breaking the water,  pitocin, etc., cody asked for a few more hours to see if we could get things going on our own.  i tried resting, which is nearly impossible when enduring large amounts of pain. 

when we were looking at 30 something hours of labor with no progression and contractions lasting for 2 to 3 minutes with no breaks, and they had broken my water, and all other options had been exhausted, they told me i needed to get some pitocin at the hospital.  devastation is pretty much the only feeling that i could feel at that point. the whole way to the hospital, i ate and drank as much as my body could handle so i could  regain my  energy.

 

 

 

the hospital is not a good place to be in natural labor.  with the pitocin flowing, and the contractions stronger than ever, and not being able to move freely, i was miserable.  getting up to go to the bathroom was an act of congress. (unless you live in wisconsin.... ha.)  cody would unhook the machines and hold the cords while i would try and use the bathroom to the best of my ability. 

at this point, i was spent and i am still trying to black out the memories of the ways that i gave in to medical intervention.  i'll spare you the details and the mental breakdowns and subsequent temper tantrums that i threw. when i finally felt the urge to push, i was on top of the world.  3 hours later, on valentines day, crosby jewell was laying on my chest, looking at me with the widest eyes i have ever seen. 

i think since he was born on valentines day, he is full of extra love for his momma.

 

 

 

blowing my mind

so, i have several projects lined up to show you.... but i have to let you in on what is blowing my mind, still.  almost 3 weeks later.

 

before:

 

after:

 

really?? i dont even think that i actually thought that a real baby was actually in there until he was laying on my chest, all covered in gook, looking at me with those eyes.