bellevett

picture mostly unrelated.......

 

so it turns out that on crosby's birthday, he pretty much felt terrible. 

i was initially disappointed x 100 that his birthday was so sad, compared to the thoughts that i had in my head of how we would celebrate it: with a hike, and fish for dinner. (two of his most favorite things at this time.)

  i just wanted to celebrate it a certain way because, really, it was the beginning of the new us. the new family system.  and i wanted it to be a happy and eventful day that cody and i would talk about and remember fondly. 

turns out, we probably will remember this birthday with great joy.  obviously, the whole sick aspect was rather undesirable, but the constant napping, cuddling, and book reading on the couch was quite nice.  we have eaten homemade broth and soup all week long, and it has made for an extra nice warm constant supper- as it continually cooks in the crock pot.  while crosby was napping in between us on the couch on his birthday, we may or may not have eaten 2 whole boxes of valentines candy- just the two of us.  i cannot say that if this was true, that i regret it.

it turns out, this week has been a long week of doing just what we were doing last year this time.  crosby sleeping in our arms, catching up on downton abbey on the computer (or soccer games for cody), and lots of knitting (for me at least).   cody and i have spent more time on the couch this week than we have in possibly months. 

yes, i do believe we will have very special memories of the week of crosby's first birthday.  because, just like the birth of the sweet boy, things do not always go exactly as planned.  But finding great joy and solace in such simple times that are not at all what i had in my mind will most definitely be my new favorite plan. 

 

 

ps.  i took the above picture earlier this winter.  i really love it.

today is the day.

last year at this time, i was holding a sweet and precious hours old newborn baby crosby.

i still havent forgotten that holding that floppy little body for the first time and flowing with emotions that i had never felt before.

i will never forget holding the tiny bundled baby and hoping i would never have to do anything ever again beside hold that tiny baby in my arms.

crosby has never ceased to amaze us with his greatness.

i mean really, i cant tell you enough that crosby has truly been one of the sweetest and most joyful beings i have ever been around.  he is the type of child that makes you think that you should spend your life making babies because obviously this one turned out in true perfection.

he has brought us so much joy.  and in fact, when he is around, he brings so much gentle happiness that its hard to leave him.... which might explain why we rarely, if ever, do.

he has made me watch in wonder.

he has shown me how to truly live in the moment.

he has taught me to slow down.  because time doesnt.

he has taught me how precious and wonderful the world really is.

he has shown me how to notice so many positive things in this world where i once was able to notice so many negatives.

he has shown me how miraculous life really is.

 

we had a small celebration this past weekend.

i made a small cake for the birthday boy.  which was mainly a small tiny cake with a lot of fresh whipped lightly sweetened cream.  and some sprinkles in the shape of a c. 

he was given a few small and large gifts.

we celebrated.

so today, on valentines day, such a surprisingly fitting birthday for such a loving and cuddly child, we will probably go to get a very small milk steamer (his first taste) at a local coffee shop.  we might go to the bookstore afterwards and read every book he picks up.  and we might just play with all of his new toys and have a nice salmon (his favorite) dinner.  whatever we do, we will be thanking our lucky stars for such a perfect year with a perfect boy.

 

 

 

 

 

weekending x 2

 

 

 

so the past few weekends have been just the sort of weekends i have needed most.

both were made up of relaxation and productivity.

truth be told, i have been a bit preoccupied with a project here in my little land.  and that project is a new quilt for my boy for his first birthday.  which is coming up next week. on valentines day.  also known as my baby boys first birthday.  so, i deemed it fit to begin sewing him a quilt 2 weeks before, cause that's just what i do.  so, the knitting has been put down and all other interests have been put on hold until this quilt is finished.

except.........

we did find our way out doors 2 weekends ago when the weather got to a point where it should have been considered a sin to stay indoors.  it was still a bit cold, but the sun.  oh the sun.  it was quite nice.  seeing as though this winter has been unseasonably weird and totally unpredictable, seeing sun after months of overcast and rain and 50 degrees with no snowflake to be found, the sun was a welcomed player.

i dug up my beets and one lone carrot, just to see how it was doing.  i planted some arugula and some french breakfast radishes, just for kicks.  who knows, we may not get below 40 degrees at all this winter.  i am proceeding forward with my plans.  after all, the farmers almanac does seem to back up the claim that we will most likely not have any substantial winter here in the valley. 

i pulled up some spinach and re-mulched the kale. 

i turned all of our cover crops on our other two beds.

crosby took the whole garden bed terminology to heart and took up residence laying and rolling in the bed like it was his personal space. 

sourdough bread was made.  and....... meeeh. it needs some work i tell you.  i wont give up yet..

last night i made a giant salad and i used some pickled beets that i canned last summer.  they were by far one of the tastiest things i have canned ever.  and i now remember why i always plant so many beets.  also, the miniature beet eater in the family had some fresh beets last night roasted in the oven with salt, pepper and olive oil.  yes. they were Tasty.  capital t.

the truth is, i have begun my new pinboard on pinterest for my future farm. and i am seriously craving some fresh foods right now.

but, before i get into all that, i have a few days left to finish a quilt that i spent all last night seem ripping out the border after i saw a mistake that i just couldn't ignore.  so, the farm talk will have to wait for a few more days. 

happy tuesday.

the past and the present.

 

about a month ago, cody and were out alone, enjoying some sushi that was i think made from perfection, and then some beers made from awesomeness.

something about being out alone without crosby made us think of a few of our favorite memories, prechild.

this visit from the past was surely because we were at a place that we most likely wouldnt bring crosby, and this place was a place where would go in the years pre marriage, and prebaby, and prehomeownership, and pre real jobs.  read: during college.

we remembered all of the decisions, mistakes, and awesome times.  we thought about how weird it was to not know responsibility at all, and how free you are from any actual obligation, aside from the table waiting job and the classes.  we laughed and thought about those times, and how fast they went by.  they were like a brief flash. 

not one of the mistakes we thought about or the money we spent on something that we would never do now brought up any feelings of regret.  because that time was then in that moment. and we lived it. and we saw it, and breathed it in completely.  and then we moved on.

our conversation moved on to the present, and crosby, and our funny memories we have made in the past few months.  and then of course onto random topics of what we have recently heard on the radio or read on the internet. and then our conversation trailed off into future plans and goals and then the beers were done, and we went home to our warm house to be in our present.  with the snuggly baby.

i know that in a few short years, we will be looking back to this moment with our like minded friends, and our kids and babies will be teenagers and adults.  and we will look back at these times and know that we lived them fully..... breathing in the babies, laughing at the millions of pounds of poop we cleaned off cloth diapers, and the glasses of wine or beer we would sip preciously while watching portlandia after an especially hard and exausting day of wood splitting, diaper washing, fussy teething whining, and constant, necessary and often exhausting baby wearing.

as one of my friends on facebook recently quoted:

"time keeps on slipping slipping slipping, into the future." 

 

memory ocd.

 

 

it would in fact be true that i have been m.i.a. from this space for the last couple of weeks- much to my disappointment.  the past few weeks have zoomed by.  which has caused me a wicked case of trying to compile memories from the last few weeks in a matter of minutes.  because, you see, i have an obsessive need to keep track of all of my memories. which i do in this very book:

daily i try to sit down and catalog at least one memory from the day.  one little moment that i hope i can remember next year when i look back.  i have always good intentioned with my journal- but when the choice is presented, and the contender to journaling is sleep, sleep almost always prevails.

so, yes, this past weekend, in an effort to get semi organized before crosby turns one, IN TWO WEEKS, i went through a year of pictures to make a book of the past years highlights.  this year, i believe i am going to do it monthly, because this book is certainly going to be at least 100 pages.  does shutterfly even make a 100 page photo book?  anyways, i was going through all of the 400+ pictures and never found my face without a smile.  cody, crosby, and i have made some major memories this year.  and some of those memories came without photo proof.  which is why i keep the red daily journal.  so i can jot down brief moments that i just simply CANT FORGET.

because when we lay down with crosby, and he is dozing off to sleep, and his awesomely perfected sleepy playlist (patting myself on the back) is playing, i work through a series of memory exercises, in which i try to remember all of my favorite memories from the last few months. 

because it has almost been a year.

and this time is so fleeting.

it has almost been ONE YEAR people.

some knits. and gifts.

 

a few simple gifts for christmas.

the pear and hat were knitted by me.

pear was knitted from itty bitty toys book, and i added some bells inside so that it would be appealing to such a rattle lover.  the hat was made from this aviatrix pattern. 

a wooden knob puzzle and a book from us.

abc blocks from a family friend.

a few small wooden trains from a cousin.

a wooden xylophone and a tambourine for this music maker lover boy was perhaps his favorite gift.

another favorite? this walker wagon from nova naturals. which he is crawling with.  this boy is such a fast crawler, why would he have any reason to actually walk? 

we intend on keeping holidays small, always, just a few simple gifts and lots of merry making.  this season was perfectly that.

 

tour of the grounds.

daily tour of the grounds begin like this:

wanna join us?

first stop, watering pail.

beets:

kale, still growing strong:

looking up:

looking down:

and we're off:

 

 

Friday was a beautiful sunny day.

by the time crosby and i got home, it was a bit overcast. 

that didn't stop us from our daily tour of the grounds.

crosby has gone from laying on a blanket outside.....

to sitting up attempting to reach the nearest sticks and rocks......

to scooting to get a stick........

to crawling to find the biggest stick and most dirt......

to speed crawling around our house for his daily tour of the grounds.

his daily adventures happen in the cold and the sun and the warm. 

in the beginning, i thought i would be taking crosby for a local hike at least daily.

i have learned that it doesnt matter if it is the top of the mountain or the patches of grass and garden around our house, adventure is adventure.  when your 11 months old, if you're outside, the awesome factor is pretty high.

*************

i was actually kind of getting depressed that we don't seem to be getting a decent winter. 

i am the type of person who enjoys a lazy day on the couch with some knitting and a fire in the woodstove.

but, big news.  i have moved on.

i am tired of waiting, so  i am accepting our non- winter winter, and i am now moving forward.

bring on spring!

and my fresh vegetables.

**************

i have been watching my frozen and canned veggie stash dwindle away slowly. 

i used the last of our frozen blueberries the other day. 

i am ready to start again, and every year, my garden and preserving plans get bigger and bigger.

i am hoping this is leading me up to finding a super awesome and cheap piece of land in the near future.

one can hope. and dream.

pretty sure my sourdough starter would for real be better on some land.  on a farm.  yes indeed.

 

ohhhhh, forgot to mention, i have moved my 365 project pics over here:

http://bellevett.typepad.com/threehundredsixtyfive/

add it to your reader and visit. 

out of doors: day 5 of project 365.

 

 

small note:

 

hillary had a post today that rings oh so true to me right now, as well as kyrie and this post from buttons magee.

 

jan 4

last night:

 

one finished turkish bed sock. 

 

sometimes things just are

and they are hard.

and there really isn't a win win situation-

or at least there isnt an instant win win situation.

and you just have to do. and continue doing.

until things just aren't anymore.

and then they are just what they are, and you look back and it all didn't really seem so hard after all.

and everyone is happy.

and it all just becomes a small and good memory.

************

i am going to enjoy the journey for a bit, even though it doesn't feel quite right.

lets see what happens. 

************

i am a lucky girl:

to have good friends to drink the above beverage with after such days......

and a good, patient, and angelic husband who never comments on the dirty kitchen or tired baby or giant bag of dirty cloth diapers i leave him with when we all know that the above situation takes at least two (on a good day) to tackle......

and a nice sock.

and an almost second sock.

and also, sometimes, it feels good to just sit, and listen.

**********************

in retrospect, not a bad day after all.

 

the spice of life.

a light snow fell last night.

i went to sleep hoping i was going to wake to a winter wonderland, but alas, just an inch.

i had big plans for us take a cold and snowy hike this morning, but by the time we ate breakfast and were ready to get out the door (that takes a while you know) most of the snow had melted. 

after some brief errands, i settled back in with my new favorite beverage: a frothy hot milk with vanilla bean paste mixed in.  surely the most heavenly drink on the planet.... and got a wild hair to start some a sourdough starter. 

i took some inspiration and knowledge from the river cottage bread book and set to beginning my journey of master sourdough bread making and i am not going to lie, i did envision my rye sourdough starter becoming so flavorful and delicious that i would keep that same starter for 20+ years, and people would request a small dip of my special starter for christmas and birthday presents. 

meanwhile, while i was knee deep in a very fruitful daydream, crosby was knee deep in the spice cabinet.  the spice cabinet and the dishwasher are his current favorite hangouts, and i pretty much encourage any and all shenanigans that occur in the kitchen. this was an especially shenanigan-full day as crosby was concocting his own little mixture of deliciousness.

baking soda is never to be forgotten amongst the list of delicious items to eat and flavor dishes with. 

toothpicks top the list as best rattle.

if the dishwasher gets opened when you have just about gotten the curry powder opened and you can get a fork to help with the rest of the way, you have really hit the jackpot.

after a bit more exploring and tasting, we headed out of doors for a little fresh (cold) air.

at the end of the day, my spice cabinet is newly organized and clean.

our woodstove is maxing out.

my camera is full of images of life: snow. stick eating. spice cabinet ridiculousness. my new sourdough starter. cats hogging the heat.

 

ps. before you tell me i am crazy, neglectful, insane, unfit to be a mother: as a former montessori teacher, i seem to always allow Crosby to explore his environment (which i have semi childproofed) and i pretty much consider any destruction or craziness a practical life experience.  and i like it that way. 

oh, and i'll let you know how the starter goes. and my future sourdough starter business.